my days are shorter and my nights are longer ...

im on the verge of giving up. i need inspiration, i need a positive muse besides smokes and alcohol.

what hurts the most ..

is that all ive wanted to do for a long time is date you. you advertise how lonely you are and how much you want a boyfriend, but when the time comes, you feel uncomfortable and just flee ... i might be wrong, but i don't feel like i could have been that bad of a boyfriend to you at all.

all i hope is that one day you realize that i really would have tried to make you happy.

you and i both know that in the end, ill be there to catch you fall when another breaks your heart.

nice guys will always finish last.

sydney.

is really not doing it for me anymore. i need to leave, get out and wash these rough hands of mine in different waters.

i was never a fan of being in one place for too long and living in sydney for my whole life it isnt doing me any good. i guess the only reason im here is because i dont want to be too far from my family and friends .. i just wonder how everyone would take it if i just dissapeared to a different state for awhile? i dont know, contemplating about doing it for a long time now and i think my strings have snapped and might go ahead with it.

anywhere, here i come!

and i will try ..

got me some new corn rows done by a really close friend named ashley rae. cool girl, been friends for a LONG time now, was great hanging out with her yesterday.

i dont have much to say nowadays, because most of the time i really cannot express what im feeling through these blog things, even though most of the time thats the purpose of this.

but i drew myself the other day, nothing fancy, just took 20 minutes, and it showed how i am and how i feel.

big weekend lined up, thursday we got hot damn like usual, friday we have kivins 19th birthday party which is gonna be so good, saturday we have a dress up party in newcastle! too much fun in one weekend its going to be awesome.

speak then :]

later,

edgil

great quote.

"no pencil is sharp enough to draw as fine as you can think and no paper large enough to hold your imagination."

-donald duck-

alisons get together.

another weekend has passed and im now sitting in my room angry at the world. i wish sometimes i didnt fall for girls so hard and i really wish i was as heartless as i say i am because if i was, i wouldnt feel like i do now.

this weekend passed has been a good one, first off went to nick, emske and alexs house on thursday before heading off to hot damn, photos:



matt came over after work dressed overly formal, so we took a photo of him being french.









we all decided we needed gangster snoop dog photos with us playing with smoke, im pretty sure we all look like dickheads, but it was fun nonetheless.

we then went to hot damn that night, i had one beer and decided to head back to nicks house. the events that took place that night are summed up in the next couple of photos:













yes .. the whole night consist of us playing with this moustache haha it was amazing.

next day we headed off to alisons at about 6, when we arrived at campbelltown we all decided to get something from the corner store, chrispy found this can of rockstar energy drink that really should be illigal, on the can itself it said "do not consume more then 500mL a day" yet the can was 710 mL, heres a photo:



we eventually got picked up by scottie who took us to alisons. here are the photos:





this is little jordan, shes the cutest little girl ever.



big boss besty



they really are perfect together



here is the crew, just look at chrispys face hahahaha the guy with the red hoody is chrispy





while everyone was sleeping dre took a shower and jumped on the bed naked haha jordan copped a face of doodle



we all eventually got to bed for abit and here are photos from the morning after:

chrispy woke up still drunk for the night before haha



roya and alison in the kitchen



moorey is straight edge, yet he ALWAYS looks hung over haha



rich lives like 5 hours away, yet he always comes down and hangs with us, great dude



mitch and i have actually become such close friends, hes a really sweet boy to be around and hes funny as hell



the schrem and goliath, both the best dudes



nick schrem on his tweeny fohhs haha its actually alisons sisters car its ballin'



those are all the photos from alisons. that night we all went to a nightclub called trash and watched some of our friends bands play, they played great and yous should really check them out:

as silence breaks: http://www.myspace.com/assilencebreaks
another days remains: http://www.myspace.com/anotherdaysremains

such great bands with even better band members, go check them out immediately.

after trash we just went back to nick, em and alexs house and chilled. i went home the next day and havent done anything since. that is my weekend. hope you enjoyed it as much as i did.

edgil

what a way to start the week.

Hey everyone,

I got home from Newcastle about 5 and a half a hours ago and goodness it was a long trip, someone got sick on the train and it caused a sickness scare throughout the train, had to catch another train which took way longer then expected .. But lets not get too far ahead of ourselves and start from Monday morning/afternoon.

I got my train at 9:02 which led me straight to Central station which was amazing, on the way to central i worked on a drawing so i wasn't too bored, i also gave my seat to an elderly woman who was standing on the train, i felt like a gentleman which was a nice feeling. I was actually lost for a bit and had to ask a transit what platform i had to get onto and whatnot .. Ive been living in Sydney all my life yet i dont know where everything is .. such a shame.

I got on my train and to my surprise it was empty, which was amazing for me because i could then act as obnoxious and silly as i wanted to!



Its illegal to place your feet on the seats, i did though, thats how bad ass i am hahaha.



Ghost trainnnn.



The magic man wizzy i was drawing on the way to Central, i continued it on my way to Newcastle.



For some reason, i like this photo. I don't know what it says and its complete gibberish to me, but it just reminds me of the exciting times i use to have when i was 13-14.

After waiting for about 10 minutes for someone to get on the train a dude who looked familiar boarded, it was Anthony, a friend of mine from the central coast! I haven't seen him in a long time and the whole time we were chatting i was thinking 'what were the chances of us meeting on this train right then and there. I didn't get a photo of him which kinda sucks.

The train left at about 10:15 am i think it was, and i was set for the train trip with a drawing i needed to complete. Unfortunately, i finished the drawing quicker then i hoped and actually had nothing else to do for about 1 a bit hours, so i slept. I woke up with thinking i had slept for most of the trip but to my astonishment i slept for less then 20 minutes! Time goes super bloody slow when you dont want it to. So most of the train trip i was just taking in my surroundings and whatnot but there was this very sus man on the train who constantly tried to make conversation with Anthony and i haha i dont know if he was just being nice or if he was a creepy man rapist.

I arrived at broadmeadow which was my destination at 12:50 hoping that jeorga was waiting for me at the station with a big smile on her face that i love seeing but nope she wasnt. I called her and she was just getting on the bus! i had about 30 minutes to spare so i took a long deserved piss. Toilets in newcastle are very clean.



I normally wear tracksuit pants and a hoody, but i decided to dress up extra nice for Jeorga just once.



This is Broadmeadow, a nice, small town just outside of Newcastle, it was really nice and calming, barely any noise or anything.



I found out that Sydney and Newcastle weather forecasts aren't the same, and it was actually really hot in Broadmeadow, so i was melting inside my jacket. But it was a nice sky.

Jeorga finally arrives and tells me we might have to walk 50 minutes up the road to catch a bus, i was devastated because i was just so tired and really wanted to just nap in her bed for awhile, but she insisted so we started walking. Thankfully, one of her friends Jorja was kind enough to have been "driving through" and said she would give us a lift back to Jeorgas, what a sweet girl. We ended up going to the shopping center to just walk around for awhile which was good and me and Jeorga ended up going to K-mart to check out the new Sims 3 game. A direct quote from Jeorga seeing the games was " oh my god! i need to pee im that excited!" which made me laugh intensely for a bit hahaha.

We finally got home to Jeorgas house where we took outrageous photos that Jeorga told me NOT to upload, so ill do what makes her happy.

We ended up playing a lot of ape escape and guitar hero which was entertaining for awhile but i really needed to get some rest. I had a nap and woke up about 4 hours later to the sight of Jeorga concentrating at her computer screen playing sims haha but she told me i was snoring really loud! I dont snore! Atleast i think i dont.



We watched Night At The Museum which is one of my all time favorite movies so that was a sick treat from Jeorga.





Jeorga decided to take photos of me. I tried to be as attractive as possible, it shows.

I was watching Night At The Museum with great interest till i turned to see Jeorga sleeping.



I thought that was way more interesting than the film, so i stopped watching the movie and just snuggled right up to Jeorga. She sucks but shes pretty cool sometimes.



I woke up later on at about 10:30 or so and saw that Jeorga was still sleeping, so i went out for a good old morning cigarette.



This photo showed me that i REALLY need to buy some new PJ pants.



While i was soaking in the morning air, i looked around and noticed this intense rooster! Detail is spectacular.

I walked back in and noticed for the first time how cute her house was, it was like it came from a harry potter novel.





Her pet bird, i don't know its name though.



Kitchen.



Jeorgas room.



A necklace Jeorga made from pencil sharpeners and a toy camera hanging on her wall. Shes a creative one that girl is.



This cute little blue man toy clock thingo that sits on her dresser.

Jeorga eventually woke from her slumber.



She thought her nail polish was nice.



She couldn't spell the word "blood" out with her fingers even if her life depended on it! We ended up staying in bed most of the day making strange shapes with our hands which was fun.

Till the big boss showed up!



Henry! The best cat in the whole world! I took so many pictures of the little guy haha i love him that much! Henry is a one year old kitten yet look at the size of him!









He protects me while i nap.







Chink Henry!







Playing with Henry.





Im not every pretty in the morning.



Vikki, Jeorgas mum eventually came into the room. Shes the coolest mum ever seriously, takes care of me when im at their house and makes sure im comfortable. A really lovely woman.

Then the time i was dreading came along, it was time to leave.



I got ready to go back home, i hadn't showered and i felt dirty, but i really had to catch my 3:24 train back to Sydney.



The train back to central was a long and tedious trip, the train i was on also made weird screeching noises that really freaked me out, but the train back did provide me with some nice scenery.



I also started on a new drawing this train trip.

I arrived at central at about 5:18 pm and being in the city by yourself at night is really nerve wrecking. I caught a crowded and stuffy train back to Parramatta when at auburn a health scare took place when a man started throwing up profusely on the train. we ended up being stuck in auburn for 20 minutes and eventually was asked to move onto another train that took longer then the train i was previously on.

But i got to Parramatta where Kivin came and picked me up and we eventually decided to visit a friend we haven't seen in a long time named Andrea. it was fun, i decided to be a little girly and let her straighten my hair, in the end i looked like a legit girl haha it was scary. The whole night though, Kivin and i were talking about moving out together, so we looked on the internet for potential homes. We might be moving out of our parents homes into our new home in about 6 weeks or so, its a big step and a very big change but i know its going to be fun!

After Andreas, Kivin dropped me home and im now sitting her writing up this long and challenging blog which i bet no one will read till the end haha but hey, its worth the try.

Phew, glad that's over and done with. I miss Jeorga though, which really sucks but i will hopefully be seeing her this Saturday again so that's something to look forward to :]

And that's whats happened over the past 2 days :]

I'll update you all as soon as i can soon.

Thanks for reading,

Edgil.